Sunday, February 19, 2012

On Leaving

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“The end is just the beginning.”

As I think more about this particular line, this is a thought dressed up in optimism and fails to recognize the worth of any form of ending. Whoever thought of this was surely devastated that he or she reached an end.

But any ending – of a travel, of a relationship, of a hardship, or of anything actually – gives one a fairly liberal moment to look back and recall all the things that have happened before that end. You see your triumphs, you see your failures, you see your funny moments alone or with someone else, you see how you acted stupidly during this or that event. Endings are free times actually. You get to rest after a particular endeavour and take stock of your past thoughts and actions. A day of reckoning, that’s the word.

And so to deny an end is to deny your movement forward. You don’t look forward immediately to the future because a particular end may have been painful. Someone you loved just died but you don’t forget the person the next day. You mourn for the person and remember your days together. You fail on something but you don’t forget it the next day. You look back on it and see how you will avoid this in the future.

I am saying all these not to sound preachy but to share what I have just did in recent days. There may have been actions and decisions that I could have really crossed out today but they have been done already. All I can do right now is to pick the lessons from them and carry them as my weapons for the future. You disown an ending and you disown your future. Any past is inevitably entwined with the future. That’s how life is and if we are to continue ignoring this reality, we cannot hope to really move on in our past hurts.

One must not really dwell on the past for too long but it is a pool of cleansing where we can prepare ourselves for the coming days. Enjoy any endings. Enjoy resignations. Enjoy goodbyes. After all, it is only but a transient period.

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