Monday, December 5, 2011

Life Created, Life Ruined

How does one create life? Is it really confined to the biological process we are all familiar with: an entity carried in the womb of a mother and brought into this world after nine months of nourishing? Or can it be described through a relationship where the bond between two persons is strengthened by experiences shared together each day? Perhaps the distinction will lie on the definition of what is life for you or for me. As a further thought, how does one ruin life or recreate it?

On my own definitions, I saw life rose around me in the form of a family, a concept I grew to respect and appreciate for one does not get to receive so much attention beyond its circle. Its stability and happiness, ironically, is defined by norms which are totally indifferent to the human factors involved in the family’s growth or death. And I recently saw a life (or perhaps lives) got thrown into an existential abyss, leaving on its disposal a void of almost the same character but charged with more pain and suffering.

But how do I act in the midst of these two conflicting events? Do I move to preserve what the norm says is to be preserved in exchange for my personal happiness or deny the norm itself and make a living definition of happiness for me?
The answer is that I am utterly confused. And at least by typing away these simple thoughts in the wee hours of the day, I’ll receive that proverbial spark inside me and have the clarity of mind to proceed with the decisions that should be made. Life, as I have always seen it, is always wanting. I am urged to fill in the empty spaces but I still find myself tethered by responsibilities.

Name saving is no longer a safe haven, for all the details of an ugly past have been spilled anyway. I just hope to find the right bets, the right choices for the actions that must be done. Peace, at least in the personal level, cannot be attained for now. And so I plunge into these bitter and decidedly ugly battles. Still, I expect to come out of all the problems not really clean but redeemed. I have overlooked many things but I intend to correct them for the betterment of the many.

And so to my questions. Well, one can create and ruin life. After all, this moral existence is an existence of constant change. We can only live with the wounds of the creation or of the destruction. The bright side of all this is that we OURSELVES have the power to recreate our damaged lives not only once but more. Living gives us hope. I may have the most guilt- and problem-ridden heart at this hour, but I am anticipating a better closure to all of these present predicaments the soonest possible time.

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