Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Pre-Birthday Sentiments

The month draws now to a close. September will come, tagging along my birth date. And so in lieu of a celebration, I choose to lay down a few thoughts here before that day comes. I am at present in the most active stream of youth period. Better make the most of it while the awareness is still there.

Looking Onwards

The things I’ve expressed on a semi-personal entry (Moving On, Moving Forward) still hold. We can only carry our past into the present and future. No forms of denial of the past can make our lives better. And so better move on and look onward to better things. Quite optimistic? Yes. It has to be.

Of Interests and Mismatches

Even at this age I am still surprised (and annoyed to a certain extent) when people convey directly, but most of the times indirectly, how I could have been this or that person, or how I could have had this or that career. Pity.

I was trained in the sciences with a love for literature especially poetry; existentialism; politics and international affairs; concepts and theories on conventional and unconventional warfare; music, among others; a deepening interest in Philippine history; and an almost addictive urge to travel to different places and dig in about their history and look for old houses. I wonder why even some from my own family circle does not appreciate when I was able to publish poems when they could easily relate to our acquaintances who made it to some popular TV contests. And I wonder why they cannot appreciate simple accomplishments on my part (research undertakings, etc.) when they can readily talk about the affairs of some of my friends.

This is not, in any way, a sentimental musing. Through such enumeration, I get to see that I have been indeed a person of mismatch history. It feels good to see their passive acceptance of what I have become. It only shows that I have created for myself so far a personality devoid of any un-filtered character influences. I recall just now what I wrote in my bio-note for a poetry anthology: “Pangarap nyang maging manunulat-siyentipiko.” That is a dream. And dreams are pursued on a personal level, not discussed among people.

Plans and Resolutions

Plans can be made now. Plans can be made later in the evening. Plans can made ten years from now. For now, I take each day as if it is my last, confronting challenges and answering problems that present themselves along the way. What I am trying to say here is plans (and definitely resolutions) are things not really meant to be broadcasted to accidental blog readers. They are crafted on a level deeper (and I hope more mature) than the personal level. Can I describe it as psychological level? I do not know.


Although some quarters say that celebration of day of birth is reserved only for the heathens, I would like to share a final thought on that vein. In every celebration, a birthday in this case, it is a personal hope that one would not get lost in the pomp and lavishness of the celebration. Instead make that date as a day of reflection, as a day of taking stock of one’s achievements and failures, and as a day to make renewed resolves for the remaining parts of one’s life. We have only one life (or to put it another way, we are only given one life); let us not waste it in nonsense endeavors. Learn a craft. Live for someone else. Anything. For as long as it gives meaning to your life, one cannot ask for more.

Did these sentiments make sense? I hope so.

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