Sunday, December 26, 2010

Year-Ender I: Ups


Christmas has just passed. But it always seems to me that no days separate Christmas and the New Year celebration. In the blink of an eye, we will have 2011 right before us. And so, as I have said before, I personally would not want to be swept by the activities of the last days of December. Instead I desire to look back to the months that comprised this year. And from that I hope to extract morsels of lessons which I could carry on for the coming of the new year.

But in looking back, it would be practical to recall successes. I can still remember what my thesis adviser told me: that there are in essence two kinds of successes – external and internal. External successes are those things that other people can identify and relate to. These are the society-conceived successes. Internal successes, on the other hand, are those which you yourself can tell as successes. The world may see those things as trivial, but for you they are your accomplishments. These two stuck to me. Internal successes are for me personal truths.

And I can say that my writing life is one example of internal (or personal) success. Finishing a thesis manuscript, getting some works published, and winning writing contests are indeed fuels for me to pursue this writing path. I would admit that I still have a lot of grounds to cover – a lot of theories to learn, a lot of literary works to read and learn from, a lot of drafts to write. I am a self-confessed novice, to say the least.

But knowing that almost everything (in my personal life at least) revolves around writing, I dare not drop it out of my system. Writing is breathing. Writing defines a large portion of my character. Whether or not I would make it as a top-rate writer (wow, the ever ambitious Francis!), no one knows. But for 2010, writing is the highlight of my everyday activities. I am personally excited with some plans. No harm there. At least I have some programs to follow instead of just scribbling around.

But to say that it was only writing that I did for the whole 2010 would be tantamount to lying. There are certainly many other things that happened within the year which I consider successes. But it would be better to keep them as personal recollections. I have come to realize that I cannot blog every single parcel of my life and activities.

Anyway, in this existence of duality, a thing always has its opposite. For every up, there will always be a down. I wish to discuss some of that ‘downs’ in the next entry.

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